10 lessons I learnt in the last 6 months in Assam

 “And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

 

I just realized that half of my DPT is over, and contrary to what I thought, I have loved the past 6 months to bits. Assam has been too kind to me, I have met some beyond amazing people and adulting, has slowly grown on me. That being said, it hasn't been a cakewalk, there have been days filled with anxiety of what am I doing, the constant feeling of directionlessness, and extreme loneliness which denies to go away, even after hours of phone calls back home.

Having said that, I have gotten some important lessons in this short span, which I want to share with all of you. You may or may not relate to them, but these are solely carved out of my experiences in Darrang. The people, the circumstances, and the roles I've met with, have made me come to these realizations. And maybe, after an year or more, I might revisit them and tell you that I was wrong, which makes it all the more necessary to write them down today. 

1. As an officer, always be speech ready: There is a reason why I keep this as my first learning. It had been just a week in district, when I was taken for a field visit to a village. These were young children in a school, and I was supposed to inspire them with my words. Easy, right? Not at all. To speak in public, you must be aware of your crowd, and more in my case, since I wasn't well versed in their first language. I tried hard, but the crowd found me boring, and rightfully so. So nowadays, I try and research about my crowd a little. On some days, I just have a few minutes, but let me tell you, that's all it takes. People look up to you, and all you have sometimes are words to offer. Using them well is a power you own.

2. Using "respect" as a prize: Okay, so this might not sit well with a lot of you, but I learnt this lesson from one of the most brilliant officers I met in Darrang. He explained about the power of Gomosa. He said, that during tough times at work, he would spot people from the locals in village and delegate them work. "But why'd they work?", I had asked. Because of the respect the person would gain from an office of the district. Simple people are not after material gains. Respect, is one of the most common pursuit of a person in life. I am not saying that people in general shouldn't be respected, but sometimes when you have nothing else to offer, an amount of gratitude is all that's needed.

3. Efforts are everything: Growing up, I used to think that we are all born with some set of prerequisites, and most of us can't change them. But thankfully, Darrang has made me meet farmers who won CM award, single mothers who own businesses across the country, the story of SRD who sold water and his family is now one of the richest in Assam, to count a few. I have now realized that anyone can do anything, and while they are at work, hundreds of people would keep talking about the dumb foolery of those efforts. But one day, if the person doesn't give up the hustle, he is the success story people sell as brands to make their monologues more credible.

4.There is a race to prove that we are on the greener grass: Everyday, I come across people telling me how their work is supremely important,sometimes emphasizing on the comparison with the rest. Initially, I used to be perturbed by it, also intimidated by people at times. There were colleagues of mine, endowed with greater experience, and I being the newest, would often be left wondering if I am doing okay. Slowly I have realized that there is a lot of showing involved in a circle of limited doing. Everyone wants their work to be seen and appreciated, and while this is a very human feeling to possess, we often find ourselves in rat races to decide who is doing better. No one is, they are all just doing their jobs.

5.Dressing up for your job can never backfire: I would often get into this debate with my friends, where they'd tell me that it makes no difference with what you wear, if you're good at what you're doing. Well, in a lot of jobs, it doesn't matter. But Public Service particularly has a lot to do with impressions, you are known even before you step inside the room. You can change perceptions with your work, but all that time could be saved by an extra 10 mins in your dressing room.

6.The habit of listening:  I used to think that by this stage in life, all I would do is speak. But to speak, I do listen to a lot. I hear out people who come to my office, who I meet in public gatherings, some are veteran officers, some common folks with something to say. I even listen to people rant at times, as it gives me perspective of the challenges ahead. Most problems that come to me can't be solved immediately. About half of them can't be solved at all. But almost every time, the immediate solution is to hear out the person standing. And also, what are our stories, if not the experiences we gather on the way?

7.People Management can take you where hard work may not: Understanding people is crucial. Howsoever we claim that technology is running the world, people are behind everything. And people are complex, they have their own troubles, emotions and issues. Administration isn't run by one person, and so you need to understand your team. Every person is special, everyone comes with a skill set, even if you don't perceive it. I learnt this from my CO, he'd say " If I write an application on my own, I have to write it again myself tomorrow. If I train a person who is otherwise idle to write that application, I will always have a person as a resource, and he'd be there at my beck and call to write applications"

8.Being alone is not lonely, it's productive: The initial few months in Assam were a novel experience, and I was struck with this new found loneliness of having no one around me. Initially it irritated me to no limits, but then the extra time slowly made me very productive. I'd write, I'd draw, I learnt some photography, started gymming, began driving and met a lot of new people while traveling whenever possible. It was like a new surge of energy. All that time made me love the place I was present at.

9.The great sacrifices and their repercussions: In my experience, I think the greatest sacrifice I did in my initial days was of sleep and good food. While just into the district, I would think that this is the time, food and sleep can come later on. I'd skip lunches for field visits, I'd sleep late to read laws and wake up early to catch gym before work. But it took me a while and some very long lectures to realize that work is going to stay for a very long time and it would only grow. What won't come back is my mental peace, my health, the glow of my skin and my body.

10.The guilt of being happy: This is the most prominent of all lessons. Every time I'd take anytime off my work, this sense of guilt would envelop me. I'd not pat my back on days when I worked 15 hours or more, but on days when I would leave the office early to catch some sleep, I'd see judgement in every person's eyes I'd cross. But someone rightly pointed out, the only judge of your work ethic should be you. I agree with the extreme vitality of giving your all in public service, but an efficient mind needs a periodic rest. That's one lesson I am still learning and coming in terms with.

I'll add, that Learning stays in every person you meet and everything you see. On the best of my days, my driver has been a bigger teacher to me than any other officer in business! I have come to terms with the journey, which is going to be long, but sprinkled with varied experiences I gather on the way. And that's all that matters maybe. In my all time favourite movie The Godfather, Vito said, "Great men are not born great, they grow great". I today hope that life keeps giving me lessons to grow, someday into the woman I dream to become. And to all of you, I wish you experience the same greatness on the way.!