Srishti Singh

   There were lights, lots and lots of them. And the music of hundreds of DJs sang to the thumping of the latest Bollywood item songs. The vehicles carrying these DJs formed a long train of mismatching music. Kajrare Kajrare was followed by Bol Bam , followed by Desi Boys . Beneath these sound trains, men and women danced to celebrate. Men, mostly. Women, few. Men, unafraid. Women, meek. Men, drunk. Women, careful. They danced. And thousands of others just came to see the show. On roads, over the bridge, on the ghat, they were everywhere.   As we made our way through tens of abandoned empty pandals, pink, purple, and green, whose idols had been stripped off the mighty spots where they were showered with flowers, sweets, and money for three days, the suddenly missing long lines at Puchka thelas made me want to stop. Duty comes first. My men dropped off the siren-clad car of mine pretty early. They then turned into traffic hawaldars, using their hands to shoo away the obl...

                                                       In the sound of the gushing waves, and the sun burning over our heads, my first visit to my election constituency, at the first instance, was scenically pleasant. Only scenically. Only at the first instance. As our DDMA speedboat cut through the waters of the mighty river, the faces of the inhabitants of the Chars struck like thunderbolts. Their eyes were questioning us as to how Sarkaari Babus had finally reached this place. Multiple shifts in the islands, sometimes due to the changing course of the river and sometimes for the sake of accommodating ‘development’, had left the inhabitants rather scared of speedboats. Their questioning eyes only made the islands grim. In a span of kilometers, the islands showed no trace of ‘development’ in the form of roads, electricity poles, or bustling civiliz...

  “ Every time my surroundings change, I feel enormous sadness. It’s not greater when I leave a place tied to memories, grief or happiness. It’s the change itself that unsettles me, just as liquid in jar turns cloudy when you shake it” -Italo Svevo, Essays and Uncollected writings //Jhumpa Lahiri, Whereabouts   Lately, life has been in a pleasant slumber. Work feels great, the place feels so homely, and the house is absolutely the resthouse one needs after a long day. Days have been productive, yet the pace is somber, happening like wind passing by. With the opportunity of interacting with such versatile set of individuals in a day, I also have started understanding nuances of human behaviour. The foremost subjects of my pursuit in this study, has been my own staff somehow. Bilasipara, being a revered Subdivision of the state since years, has been the steppingstone of many young IAS officers into the temple of bureaucracy. One of my seniors, who themselves were also a...

  “Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.” ―  Roy T. Bennett In my opinion, the initial years of the life of a bureaucrat are close to what Gen-Z calls wanderlust, in a very sarkaari way. We travel, we keep moving, we meet people, listen to stories, understand cultures and make our living out of this whole system. A rather simpler way of looking at things, but that's how the past few months had been. After a long training stint in Delhi and Mussoorie, I finally found my first posting in Guwahati, as SDO Sadar, Kamrup Metro.  As I keep telling people, I think I am adulting with my job. I wasn't this lady with prim sarees and work glasses 2 years back, service evolved me, for the good. But just like a teen entering college after finishing school with bright colours, my first posting made me antsy, and nervous and shook my foot like no...

Bureaucracy is an interesting place to be. Ever since I became a part of it, it's felt like everything, everywhere, all at once. Firefighting has become a reality, sometimes on all fronts, yet I still walk in with prim clothing and polished shoes, my head held high every day, as the reality of the 'glass house' sets in. From the lush high teas and formal dinners to understanding the differences between ceremonial, formal, and smart casual attire, from presenting themes about which I had little to no idea to giving speeches in a language whose alphabets are still new to me, it has been like a swimming lesson with no trainer in the deepest end of the pool, clinging to just one floater. However, doing it all on your own and introducing your family to it are two very different challenges. My parents, like many first-time bureaucrats, knew about bureaucracy as much as an engineer knows about his course—he's supposed to understand it but keeps asking his classmate what ...

  “Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.” ―  Mark Twain Lately, life has been a lot about conversations. In the most bizarre ways, life has cornered me to actively try and build these bridges of conversations with new people. And though initially it felt like I was thrown in deep seas with no sense of swimming, I am slowly growing adept to this new change. I've even begun to enjoy it. And so, as always, I am writing to document my learnings and to maybe start a conversation about conversations. I recently moved to Delhi, for a shorter stint in my training, alongside the rest of my batch of officer trainees. In a strange way, the present setup of us all enjoying the stunner grandiose of 110001, having long walks on roads where the doyens of Indian history walked, has perturbed the usual scenarios. Since Delhi has something to offer to everyone, it has become difficult to catch up, and everyone ends up having multip...

  “ There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ― Maya Angelou   As I am entering the last month of my District training, there are stories which I want to carry with me for years and so we now are taking up this journey of story telling, straight from the heart of Assam.  It was my 2nd week of training in Assam, I was fairly new, both to the state and the profession. Being my first job, and the immense gravity attached to my profession, I wasn't dealing with things so easily. The first loss which came with me joining the leagues of my fellow compatriots was the sudden loss of right to complain or ask questions. No, it wasn't about the questions about work or about the day to day management of my district, but questions which would only pertain to me. My doubts, which I always thought, were quintessential for my progress. But suddenly, in a month or so, I was supposed to feel sorted in whatever I was doing, as if I had figured it out. And adminis...

 “Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” ― Abraham Lincoln  I have a cloth hanger with MUSSOORIE inscribed over it in wood in my room. It is a priced possession of mine and was gifted by one of my batchmates when I was leaving the academy as a farewell gift. It hangs in my room on two nails, which are too long to be pierced into the wall. Thus every time I hang more than one piece of clothing on the hanger, one of the nail gives up and the hanger comes off. I take my hammer and fix it, making it sturdy enough for a week or so, but as soon as I hang some extra stuff there, it comes off again, making me redo the hammering again and again.  Life has lately been the same! And before you all jump to the conclusion that I am a young officer, making it into this premier service at a fairly young age and thus put all my complaints into the box of first world problems OR decide that I am probably unsettled in my present life and looking ...

  “And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” ― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore   I just realized that half of my DPT is over, and contrary to what I thought, I have loved the past 6 months to bits. Assam has been too kind to me, I have met some beyond amazing people and adulting, has slowly grown on me. That being said, it hasn't been a cakewalk, there have been days filled with anxiety of what am I doing, the constant feeling of directionlessness, and extreme loneliness which denies to go away, even after hours of phone calls back home. Having said that, I have gotten some important lessons in this short span, which I want to share with all of you. You may or may not relate to them, but these ...

'' That age is best which is the first, When youth and blood are warmer; But being spent, the worse, and worst Times still succeed the former. Then be not coy, but use your time, And while ye may, go marry; For having lost but once your prime, You may forever tarry … '' - Robert Herrick,  ‘ To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time’        Recently I came across a discussion with a friend on how time flies. How as young adults, it is infused in us to perform and attain all that we can, before we reach 30. As if a clock is ticking, as if whatever we need in life-be it personal or professional, has to happen now. As a young individual in services, which is arguably one of the most demanding jobs of this country, I have something to add to this. And I may or may not convince anyone reading this to my views, but yet again, it is only about starting a conversation. I am a person of varied interests. I like to see the world in every capacity I can. I am chatty to peo...

  "There are just too many things we have to think about everyday, too many new things we have to learn. But still, no matter how much time passes, no matter what takes place in the interim, there are some things we can never assign to oblivion, memories we can never rub away. They remain with us forever, like a touchstone.” ― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore   A lot of people keep asking me, how life after UPSC is. How things change as you move to new places and witness things which you've only heard of. People do talk about the better parts, the glory and respect associated with the profession, the inherent ability to bring a change to lives, the enormous number of places this job takes you and the plethora of knowledge and intellect you witness on the way. As I keep mentioning to these people, I came from a place where the general aspirations of people lay low, for me this life is beyond my imaginations at times. I often wonder if I deserve the...

"Everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” ―  Sylvia Plath The essay paper of CSE is unequivocally the most yielding part of Mains examination. With minimal efforts, one can secure the most marks, if he/she knows the right way. This blog is an attempt to comprehensively discuss  the Essay preparation of Mains examination. Why is essay writing in UPSC tough? This is the first question one should ask to themselves once they dive into Essay preparations. We all have written essays in our school days. But when it comes to UPSC, there are few constraints: Length : Essay paper consists of 2 essays each of 1000-1200 words. This word limit allows you to cover variety of dimensions, but restricts indefinite flow of thoughts. Themes : Usually there are 2 types of essays asked: GS based and Abstract philosophical essays. Both require a little different set of approach. Time ...